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Irrelationship How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy by Mark B. Borg, Grant H. Brenner, and Daniel Berry

October 5, 2015


Irrelationship: How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy offers a new way of detecting the basis of dysfunctional dynamics between couples as well as tools for resolving these malfunctioning relationships. Mark Borg, Grant Brenner, and Daniel Berry use the term Irrelationship to describe the psychological defense mechanisms people often use in relationships to protect themselves. Irrelationship delves into the most difficult emotions to help readers achieve personal breakthroughs and navigate their way back to a successful and satisfying bond.

Mark B. Borg, Jr., PhD, is a community psychologist and psychoanalyst, and a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute.

Grant H. Brenner, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist in private practice, specializing in treating mood and anxiety disorders and the complex problems that may arise in adulthood from childhood trauma and loss.

Daniel Berry, RN, MHA, has practiced as a Registered Nurse in New York City since 1987 and has worked for almost two decades in community-based programs.

Praise for Irrelationship

Diana Kirschner, PhD, best-selling author of Love in 90 Days

Irrelationship crosses the frontier of self-help into a new area the authors call ‘self-other help’. The DREAM Sequence used for recovery from irrelationship is designed for couples to work together and help them reconnect with the wonderful chemistry and emotional connections that initially drew them to one another.”

-Tom Gullotta, editor of Family Influences on Childhood Behavior and Development, author, and CEO of the Child and Family Agency

“A well-written, informative, and entertaining volume that tells us much about ourselves in our love and not-so-loving relationships with others. A book to read for those brave enough to look inside themselves for understanding.

Susan Kolo, PhD, Training and Supervising Analyst, William Alanson White Institute, and editor of Psychology Today’s “Contemporary Psychoanalysis in Action”

”Written for individuals and couples who find their relationships to be unsatisfying, Borg, Brenner and Berry do a masterful job of combining psychoanalytic theory with cutting edge research from neurobiology, all in completely non-jargon, understandable language. The authors identify factors that contribute to a sense of ‘stuckness’ in relationships and use clinical vignettes to illustrate the difficulties and demonstrate ways to ameliorate the problems. Helpful for clinicians as well as laypeople.”

Martin Bloom, PhD, Professor Emeritus, University of Connecticut, and the editor of Encyclopedia of Primary Prevention and Health Promotion

Irrelationship is a new label for the old idea of dysfunctional relationships in dating, marital, or partnering couples. With many case studies, the authors describe forms of dysfunction stemming from a psychoanalytic perspective of carrying forward into adulthood the dysfunctional patterns that were formed unconsciously in childhood.

The road to recovery is stated in user-friendly, self-help terms that empower each person in the relationship to make changes and develop healthier ways of thinking and behaving through a mutuality of experience that permits the expression of love in all its wonderful, vital, unpredictable, and even downside forms, as the way to find continued growth and collaboration for both members of the couple.”

Carolyn Pankhurst, author of The Dogs of Babel and The Nobodies Album

Irrelationship is an individual user’s guide to the care and maintenance of adult relationships. It shines a light on challenges we often chose to ignore—the adoption of roles that limit us, the replaying of damaging patterns formed by our earliest experiences—and offers insightful and concrete advice on how to do the work necessary to build stronger and happier partnerships.”

Mark Goulston, MD, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Irrelationship is irrefutably your best chance to love happily ever after.”

Irrelationship can be found at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local indie bookstore.

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