The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance—From Toddlers to Teens by Kim John Payne, M.Ed.
Disobedient or disoriented? In this groundbreaking book, parenting expert and bestselling author Kim John Payne, M.Ed., argues that children’s misbehavior is often an appeal for guidance and direction. Payne outlines parenting strategies that provide limits and structure while fostering independence and emotional growth in children from toddlerhood to emerging adulthood. Invoking stories of encouragement and humor gleaned from his long career as a parent educator and counselor, Payne relates day-to-day parenting strategies with current brain- and child-development studies. Practical and sensitive, Payne’s model encourages parents to enjoy and cultivate their children’s growth while setting firm boundaries that encourage healthy decision making. Payne shows how focusing on guiding children to make careful decisions lets parents spend less time on discipline and management and more time connecting with their kids.
A consultant and trainer to 250 U.S. public and independent schools, Kim John Payne, M.Ed, has been a school counselor, adult educator, and private family counselor for over thirty years. He has consulted for clinics and educational associations in South Africa, Hungary, Israel, Russia, Switzerland, Ireland, Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom, and regularly gives key note addresses at international conferences. He is the director of the Simplicity Parenting Project and the Center for Social Sustainability and has worked extensively with the American and U.K. Waldorf movements. Payne has been featured in publications including Time Magazine, Parenting, and the LA Times, and is the author or co-author of three previously published books including Simplicity Parenting.
Praise for The Soul of Discipline:
“The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline that’s respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom.”
—Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No Drama Discipline
“This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be—a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well.”
—Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood
“Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising.”
—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting
“The Soul of Discipline draws on Kim John Payne’s years of gifted school and family counseling to show us with its clear and simple tone how to discipline without becoming our children’s enemy. It is filled with memorable stories, dialogues that will engage your imagination, and great strategies. By the book’s end, a new picture of parenting will live in you, one that will honor the soul of your children as you provide the structure, training, and guidance they need at each stage of their development.”
—Dee Joy Coulter, Ed.D., author of Original Mind